It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Winter weather has offically arrived in Northern Italy and it is beginning to feel like Christmas is just around the corner. There is a serious chill in the air, temperatures are in the 30's, and we've even seen a few snow flurries this weekend. Even Cayo doesn't want to spend much time outside and on our outings he quickly does his business and then starts pulling in the direction of home. All the small dogs I see out on walks have coats on. One rainy day last week, I felt particularly bad for a small, miserable looking dachshund whose once warm winter sweater had been soaked in a sudden downpour! Some dogs have rain coats on which I think is probably a much better idea than sweaters due to the unpredictable weather. I have learned, sometimes the hard way, that I should always bring an umbrella with me even it it doesn't appear like it is going to rain.

　

Despite the cold temperatures the streets of this city are pretty magical right now; signs of Natale (Christmas) surround me. Shops windows have changed in the past few weeks and now showcase tasteful Christmas displays with beautiful white lights, garland, and many with full fledged Christmas trees. Children swaddled in winter coats with hoods, stare bright-eyed and with cherry cheeks up at the lights of the displays. The girls and I have been singing Christmas songs on our walks home. Their favorites are White Christmas and Winter Wonderland.

I left the house Saturday night to happily find the city has finally lit the rows upon rows of Christmas lights that they have been lining the main streets with for weeks now. It seems that stings of christmas lights have a way of neutralizing the cold weather or at least distracting you from it.

This past Sunday afternoon I went with Grazia and the children to a winter agricultural festival that was happening in the center of town. There were booths after booth of winter fruits and vegetables for sale, pasteries, olive oil, honey, jam, wine, lemoncello and grappa (very strong and delicious hard liquors), and items hand-made out of sheep wool. There were also farm animals in a sort of petting zoo type arrangement for the children-Llamas, sheep, buffalo, ponies, rabbits, and many different types of chickens and roosters.

so sweet, these sheep

There was a folk band playing songs that really added to the atmosphere. I wanted to buy olive oil and wine for everyone back home but I know I won't be able to get them home without them breaking on the airplane. Last time I came to Italy I brought home several bottles of wine and olive oil, but I also had a large, hard suitcase last time and this time I have a soft and vulnerable backpack.

Italian Folk Band!

I'm now snuggled up in sweatpants and several layers of sweaters sipping tea and trying to plan out my last three weeks in Italy. I know I posted that voting poll for advice on where I should visit and I'm still mulling over my plans. Kate has invited me with her to Torino this coming weekend which means I have a free place to stay with her friend who lives there and also company who know their way around! I have also discovered that there is a quite amazing looking Contemporary Art Museum in Torino, Castello di Rivoli: Museo d'Arte Contemporanea. It is an art museum inside of a three story Castle and that pretty much sealed the deal for me!

Torino, Italy (city in the far North West)

The children have Monday and Tuesday off school so the Debellini family is heading to the mountains to ski for the four day weekend. It is hard for me to pass up going with them, but I know that I will ski with my parents when I get home in New Mexico and Colorado, whereas I will not have the opportunity to visit Italian cities at home. Since no one will be here on Monday and Tuesday and Milan is very close to Torino I might head that direction while I'm in the North. Hopefully I'll figure out everything soon so I can go buy my train tickets.

I'm also working on my plans for Venice...

I think I will go the second weekend in December. It is going to be really pricey- my train tickets come to around 100Euro- which is about double what I've spent on my other city explorations. I'm also not looking forward to the long trips on the train; It will take five hours to get to Venice and on the way home it will take nearly seven! I have no idea WHY there are fast trains TO Venice but no fast trains back to La Spezia. Note to self: bring a good book! Accommodation will also be more expensive and I'll be staying alone which will be more pricey than if I had a travel partner. I'm a little nervous about going alone but if I want to see Venice before I leave it seems I have no other choice. I'll mostly just be visiting Art Museums and wandering around the city so I'm sure it will be ok. My mom has emailed me a beautiful article from the NY Times about how wonderful Venice is in the winter which is encouraging. I'm crossing my fingers that Venetians are nice to English speakers! I am also secretly hoping to have my own Before Sunrise type experience- you know meet a dashingly handsome and charming stranger on the train who will wander around Venice with me for a day. The odds are not likely, but a girl can always dream; And if I just end up alone in the end with a bottle of wine...well that would be just fine too.

The Feast

I'm starting to think the title of my blog should have been: I used to be thin, and then I came to Italy...God, these people know how to make good food and I swear if Grazia makes any more cakes or homemade gelato I'm not going to fit into my jeans anymore. Once I get home in January I'm going to have to start cycling with my Dad and give up sweets for about 3 months!
　　
　

Tonight we had a big wonderful Italian dinner; A meal Tipico di Genova with many of Grazia's father's closest friends. Grazia started preparing the home-made pasta and focaccia con la salvia (focaccia with sage) from scratch today at around 3pm and about that same time her father showed up with the most beautiful and wonderful bright green olive oil I've ever seen or tasted that he harvested himself from the olives at their country home! I wanted to stick around the kitchen all afternoon and learn how to prepare all these wonderful dishes for the future but I had to pick up the girls from school and then their mother wanted Cayo and the girls out of the house so she could prepare the meal without children and dogs underfoot. Understandable. So we went for a gelato and I sat with Cayo reading a book while the children played in the Piazza with their friends.

In some ways tonight was almost like Thanksgiving, a big meal with the family, far too much food, wine, and as usual, due to the number of people in attendance, I ended up at the kid's table! I'm fairly certain I'll be stuck at the kid's table until I start having children of my own... (so basically for a very long time to come). Oh well, at least they served wine at the kid's table tonight and my company mostly speaks English, so no real complaints.

Here are some pictures of the food:

The homemade pasta noodles before they were boiled

Giuly and Grandmother with the finished pesto pasta! This picture does not do it justice.

  The Focaccia con salvia next to the extra herbs

Pan fritto, Patate al Rosmarino (Pan fried, Rosemary Potatoes)

Arrosto di Manzo (Roast Beef), this is the first I've mentioned it but I'm learning now to eat meat cooked very rare in Italy! Italians prefer their meat almost straight from the cow and only slightly browned on the edges. Also in picture is the dessert Vino a Vin Santo del Chianti from the region of Tuscany that we had with dessert. I'm not usually a big fan of sweet wine, but this bottle changed my mind tonight.

I grabbed my camera a little late for dessert picture as we had aleady eaten nearly all of the home-made caffe gelato and the torta con ciliegie (cherry cake) but here is a picture of the table. At least our Chianti made it in the shot!

After dinner I took Cayo for a very quick and cold walk. It has been in the 30's and 40's here for the past week....brr...but it does make it feel like a true winter! I've been watching all the shops in town put up their lovely Christmas window displays and they have been streaming lights up and down the streets that Marcello says they will light in the first week of December! I miss my family, but it sure is a beautiful and exciting change to spend the winter holidays in Europe.

I was happy to get the chance to talk to my mom, brother, and grandparents on Skype after the party was over. They had just finished one turkey feast with my relatives on my dad's side of the family and were about to head on celebrate with my relatives on my mom's side- marathon eating on Thanksgiving is the American way!! I've also been informed that some of my very favorite people in Fort Worth, Texas toasted a glass of wine to me for Thanksgiving dinner, which makes me very happy indeed.
　

Missing Thanksgiving...

If you are somewhere eating a wonderful feast this Thanksgiving holiday can I ask of you one favor? Eat a little extra for me please. There might be plenty of Americans out there who would happily trade Thanksgiving for a day in Italy, but not me; Even the year and a half I spent as a vegetarian I made an exception for Thanksgiving turkey!! And the one year my grandmother innocently decided to prepare ham instead, and my aunt an Apple Pie instead of pumpkin, well, it didn’t go over very well. I come from a family of mothers and grandmothers who happen to be very good at cooking so I have pretty high standards for my Thanksgiving feast- fresh vegetables only, homemade yeast rolls preferred, baked sweet potatoes with orange marmalade on top- not marshmallows, and Cranberry relish.  And not the kind out of a can or the kind my ex-boyfriend Darac made one year with Jalapenos in it, which was absolutely inedible by the way, lord only knows what he was thinking. For dessert, home-made pumpkin pie with whipped cream...mmm.....but I should really stop thinking about it.

In my opinion, Thanksgiving is what Christmas should be, and probably used to be, before it became a huge consumer driven event run by corporations hell bent on guilting people into spending as much money as possible to show their loved ones they care about them. (Yuck) Unlike Christmas, Thanksgiving also doesn't typically turn ordinary people into savage beasts nearly fist-fighting over the last pair of size 7 UGG boots, or new Iphone, or in my case the last bar of Verbena Shea soap from L'Occitane or demanding that I somehow figure out how to spontaneously make more Almond Shower Oil magically appear!  (Side Note: This will be the first year in five years I won't be working a retail job at L’Occitane during Christmas time and as you can see those years may have left me a little bitter.) Thanksgiving is perfect. Families get together with the sole purpose of eating a fabulous meal and sharing each other's company, watching a little football, and if you happen to come from the Deese side of my family, playing the family card game known as, "HELL.”

In short, I'm missing my favorite holiday and my family this year and our usual game of “Hell” and I'm sad about it. I briefly tossed around the idea of preparing Thanksgiving for my Italian family but due to the picky appetites in this house, I decided I would not spend hours of labor in the kitchen to prepare a meal that only Grazia and I would probably eat. So alas, enjoy this beautiful day with your friends and family, eating a wonderful meal, and taking part in what I think is America's greatest holiday! And remember there is a jealous American girl in Italy dreaming about turkey and pumpkin pie and her happy family and friends at home! I love and miss you all!

Il Arcobaleno (rainbow)

oh and because I cannot post a blog entry with out a few pictures, even if they are entirely unrelated to the post, I give you the results of all the rain we've had lately: A rainbow and then last night a beautiful sunset!

Un Tramonto (sunset) molto bello (very beautiful)

All Roads Lead To Rome

All roads lead to Rome; When in Rome, do as the Romans do; Rome wasn't built in a day; Everyone knows the popular Idioms that surround the grand and remarkable Italian city. Rome has been cultivating it's rich history for nearly 3,000 years, it is home to nearly 3 million people, there are over 900 churches, it is the 11th most visited city in the world, and it houses one of the seven wonders of the world, The Colluseum. There are books upon books written about this famous city so I'll leave it up to you to do your own research as you see fit; Suffice it to say, one could very easily spend six months in Rome and not see everything it has to offer. But I guess the same can probably be said for any city with so much history, culture, and breath-taking beauty.

I've been to Rome once before in 2007 and seen all the most important landmarks (Vatican City, The Colluseum, The Pantheon, The ancient Roman ruins, The Trevi Fountain and other incredibly beautiful fountains by the famous artist and architech, Gian Lorenzo Bernini); I was very thankful to be shown around by locals this time around so I could glean a new and perhaps less touristy perspective of the place. I think I could spend a week just wandering down the the cobble-stone streets gawking at the beauty of this magical city, one week exploring only the gardens and landscaping, and another week just eating different types of pasta. Overwhelming does not even begin to descibe it.

I was greeted by my friends David and Nicola in the train station upon my arrival and since it was a beautiful sunny day we opted to take a stroll through Villa Borghese, one of the biggest and most well known park/gardens in Rome, on the way to David's brother's place rather than hop on a bus. I think I have mentioned that the guys work for an Italian Defense Engineering Company called Finmecahnico and on this day they had come straight from an important business event, so while I was wandering around town in jeans with my large green backpack they were strolling by my side in their fine Italian suits; I felt a little under dressed.

Adam, David's older brother, kindly opened up his apartment to us for the weekend. He is living in Rome while he works on his second Master's Degree in European Political Policy, his first is in English Literature; It is so curious that these two brother's from Austin have both found themselves working and studying in Italy! Once we climbed up the many, many stairs to his apartment (Adam lives on the 7th floor of a building with no elevator), the four of us opened a bottle of vino and did a little pre-dinner drinking to start the weekend off on the right foot. 

Representing Texas well in Italy!

For dinner at around 9:30pm, everyone eats really late in Italy, Adam took us to a wonderful restaurant called Pommodora Rosso where we had another delicious bottle of wine, some tasty Italian appetizers and Mozzarella di buffalo-Margherita Pizza...mmm. I meant to get a picture of our quaint table at this fine establishment but by the end of the meal we were too immersed in lively conversation and I was in too much of a wine and food induced coma to remember. We then took a bus to a different part of town to join some of David and Nicola's friends for a few beers, which was quite entertaining but also very cold since we wre mostly standing outside of a bar.

I learned this weekend that only the foolish actually pay for bus tickets in Rome. Tickets for the bus cost a Euro each time you ride somewhere but the guys tell me that the transportation system in Rome is terribly ineffecient and that inspectors NEVER ride the buses, so buying tickets is pretty pointless. If you get caught without one, which Adam has only had happen once in the six months now that he has been riding the buses for free on a daily basis, the fine is 50 Euro. It seems like a reasonable gamble to me, and obviously the buses make more than enough money off all the tourists who don't know this little secret or they would hire more ticket inspectors.

Every morning there is a beautiful open market on the street directly below Adam's apartment. On Saturday morning, Nicola was shocked to discover me perched, with one leg inside the house and the rest of my body on the two foot ledge outside the window, taking pictures of the market below. I assured him I was fine and that sometimes slightly dangerous ledges must be climbed on for the sake of Art. He seemed concerned but let me carry on with my photography session in peace.

After breakfast we set out to explore the city, and as fate would have it, we got lost and stumbled upon The Galleria Nationale D'Arte Moderna e Contemporanea! As I had explored the quite extensive classical art scene last time I was in Rome, this was the only Art museum I really wanted to see in this city this time around! I had forgotten to write down the address, so when we stumbled upon it by accident, well... the longer I stay in this country the more I start to believe in fate.

So I pursuaded the guys to leave me for a few hours to explore the museum alone, which still wasn't nearly enough time but left to my own devices I could probably spend entire days in Modern Art Museums. Not only did I see work by familiar artists I know and love from my days at The Fort Worth Modern, like Michaelangelo Pistelleto and Alberto Burri, but I also discovered a few new artists that I'm extremely intrigued by. Top of the list includes Mario Schifano, whose references to pop culture, use of stenciled words and phrases, and general artistic language reminded me an awful lot of some sort of fusion between Robert Rachenburg, Jasper Johns (my all time favorite artist) and Andy Warhol. I know I'm a complete nerd, but can hardly wait to get home to a good school library so I can read up on this guy and find out what, if any, actual connections he had with these well known American artists. There is only so much a google search can tell you about these things. I was also facinated by the poignant video and photography work of Luca Patella.

Gustav Klimt "The Kiss"

Before I tore myself away from the Museum, I stood in front of a painting by the extremely famous artist, Gustav Klimt, Le tre Eta, that gave me goosebumbs. There is just something about seeing a truely powerful piece of art in the flesh that you have seen 100x on paper that can move a person to tears, goosebumbs, and other extreme emotions. God, I love art.

So I left the Museum in my euphoric state and met the guys. The rest of Saturday was kind of a blur until dinner, I told you, Rome is really over whelming. I know we looked over the Piazza del Popolo and the very crowded Spanish Steps and then met up with a friend of Nicola's to tour a history museum about the history of Rome. I know I enjoyed myself but I think at this point I was pretty exhausted and ready to go home and relax before dinner. We also made a stop at an international store to purchase Canadian Maple Syrup for the pancakes I had promised I would make on Sunday morning. The syrup's name was Vernmont (not a typo) and it was made in Canada...curious and a little shifty marketing indeed.

Saturday evening dinner was incredible! La Carbonera was the place...if you ever make to Rome, DO NOT MISS IT! And make a reservation as it is a small family owned and operated establishment! Adam was informing me that Jewish influence can be seen in much of the traditional Roman dishes, since Jews have lived in Rome for as long as Christians have, although we tend think of Rome as entirely Catholic (more later on Jewish culture within Rome).

This shot pretty much sums up their personalities

So we started off our meal with a really typical Roman Jewish appetizer, Carciofi alla Giudia (artichokes fried in olive oil). I opted for Pistacchio creme fettucini with tomatoes for my entree  (I can't remember the Italian name), which was good, but after trying Nicola's Spaghetti alla carbonara...well If I ever go back, I'll be sure to get that! We laughed, we talked, we ate and ate, we finished off several bottles of wine, and then ordered dessert and a nice white dessert wine to go with it. Hands down, best tiraimisu I've ever eaten in my life. I know I keep saying that about everything I eat here but damn these Italians know how to prepare a good meal!
We then proceeded to go to San Lorenzo, the college area of town, to a bar called Beba do Samba where an Italian Jazz band was playing. We finished the night drinking yet another bottle of wine while listening to the passionate and sultry sounds of Italian Jazz music...perfection. Well except I would have REALLY liked a swing dance partner for a few of the songs. I haven't managed to find any dancing in Italy yet and I'm missing swing. It was last year at this time that I was attending the 1940's themed Big Band dance in an airplane hanger in Fort Worth. Wow, was that really a year ago? So after an uneventful bus ride home we merrily stumpled up those steps to Adam's apartment at around 3am.

Our full and happy group

Sunday morning we all woke up late and had a brunch of pancakes and eggs together while David and Katrina, one of Adam's housemates from California and now Norway (it's a long story), took turns playing songs on the guitar. "Pancakes," for me, is a tradition that started back in my early college days at OSU. Five of my closest friends and I would get together on game-day Saturdays to take turns making and consuming pancakes while we pieced together, in laughter, the happenings of the Ultimate Frisbee party of the night before. Whenever one pancake was ready we would eat it community style- pile it with various toppings and everyone would grab a fork while someone else started cooking the next pancake on the skillet. This tradition continued in Denton with my friends there, although sometimes vegan ingredients were subsituted and it was usually less of a community pancake eating arrangement. I'm thrilled that I was able to bring this happy tradition among friends to Italy with me.

Sunday we wandered the streets of some other exquisite part of Rome, that now I don't recall and I took lots of pictures. The weather was absolutely perfect for both walking and picture taking.  My favorite part was wandering down Via del Portico D'Ottavia, the main road that leads down the historical Jewish Ghetto of Rome and right by the biggest Synagogue in Italy.  This area of Rome was originally walled off until the walls were torn down in 1888. Although Jews are no longer required to reside in this area of town, as they once were, it has remained a strongly Jewish area of town and is now one of Rome's most charming neighborhoods. We stopped into an unmarked Jewish Bakery on the corner that looked pretty unimpressive from the outside, but once inside smelled better than I can possibly describe with words. We ate really delicious Jewish sweet bread with what appeared to have dried fruit trail mix style inside of it. It sounds weird but I assure you it was good.

For lunch, before we caught out train back to La Spezia, we had large servings of Gelato from the most famous Gelateria in Rome, Giolitti. My recommendations are Nocciola and Pistaccio. I don't typically eat gelato for lunch, but when in Rome....well you all know the rest!

Best Gelato in Rome!

La città di notte

By night, the city of La Spezia is quiet and introspective. The winding maze of narrow streets that connect the tall, compact buildings glow only by the light of shop window displays, apartment windows, and a few meek street lamps. The whole city seems to breathe differently once the sun goes away, and it is not the same city breathing as New York, Dallas, London or even Rome. The streets in this small city breathe slowly and elegantly, as if in deep meditation of the day. Unlike a really large city, the streets here are desolate; The only noise comes from the breeze sweeping off the sea and over the docks.

 I have captured a few pictures. I present to you the glow of the city streets by night:

Buonanotte.

How I came to Italy and learned English Grammar

Since my mother was an English teacher, I've always been decent at reading and writing. With the exception of a misplaced comma every now and then, issues with spelling difficult words, and the fact that I can rarely figure out when it is appropriate to use a stupid semicolon, I'm actually fairly decent at grammar. What I've NEVER been any good at are the proper names for tenses and parts of speech, and I fear I inherited the inability to diagram sentences from my father. I can write a proper complex-compound sentence with independent clauses, dependent clauses, conjuctions, prepositions, verbs, adverbs, nouns, pronouns, and adjectives; Just please, for the love of God, don't ask me to label the parts and tell you why they go where they do! Was that correct use of the semi-colon, by the way?


Seriously, WTF is this nonsense?

So on Wednesday morning when Marcello told me that Margherita has a test on Friday over the Present Continuous/Present Progressive tense in English and he asked me if I could practice this tense with her I said," yes, of course," but in my mind I was wondering, "What in the heck does Present Continuous mean?!" I quickly ran to my computer to do a Google search, thankfully, as it turns out, Present Continuous just means describing what you or someone else is doing in the present moment or in the very near future. For example, Present Simple is, I write this post; Present Continuous is, I am writing this post or you are reading this post. Again, correct use of the semi-colon?

I actually enjoy putting together the lessons for the girls because teaching THEM English is forcing ME to learn more about English! How sad is it that at the age of twenty-three I only know one language and I'm not even totally proficient in the one I do know! Sad, sad, sad. The worst part is that I'm much better at grammar than many of the Americans I know back home.

But my big challenge with the girls right now is not the proper use of commas or semi-colons or when to use conjuctions. Right now, I struggle with simply getting Margherita to write anything in English. Her father has said she needs to practice writing everyday, which she does not want to do. He has suggested that we write the lyrics to songs that she likes. This brings me to another problem; Margherita's favorite songs in english are by the Black-Eyed Peas, Lady Gaga, Katie Perry, and other terrible mainstream American musicians. These are not songs that are appropriate for ten year olds or are going to help a lot with grammar and spelling since they are mainly filled with improper slang, not to mention they are also just plain stupid and usually filled with offensive lyrics! As both girls make terrible faces and cover their ears when I play Billy Joel or Elton John, I'm hoping we can compromise with Michael Jackson. It seems that MJ is universally loved!

Do YOU want these people teaching your children English? Because they are.

I think I might also try cutting out pictures from magazines and taking pictures from the internet of the celebrities that the girls like and having them write sentences about what they see them doing, wearing, and so on in the pictures. If any of you readers have helpful suggestions about teaching English to foreign children, the proper use of a semi-colon, suggestions on how to convince children to appreciate decent music, or how to get Americans to quit valuing and rewarding stupidity PLEASE send them my way!

I give you exhibit A. While searching on Google for a picture of stupid mainstream American music I found this gem:

The newest BE STUPID Ad Campaign by DIESEL. Seriously America? I'm embarrassed.
Let's get our act together, please, if it's not already too late.

In Good Company



Our International circle of friends

Sandra e Nicola

It is a rainy Sunday afternoon and my head is still a little foggy while I compose this post. It is the kind of inevitable fog that follows several nights of laughter and heavy wine drinking among friends. A totally worthwhile price, in my opinion, for a perfect weekend, such as it was.

Sandra's birthday was actually a few weeks ago, but everyone has been so busy with traveling the past few weeks that we chose to celebrate this weekend. On Friday evening our international circle, as Sandra likes to refer to us, got together for drinks and dinner at a Pizzaria in Lerici.

Sandra, Nicola, e David

My favorite part of the evening was on our after dinner walk by the sea when a small girl around the age of three approached us with a face of wonder and curiosity. Kate suggested it was because we were speaking in English, and perhaps we should try a few other languages and see her reaction. She then proceeded to ask the little girl her name and how she was doing in Italian. When we still got no response, she tried German and then Polish. Sandra then tried asking in Danish, and Nicola in French and Spanish. The child continued to stare silently up at us in wonder while her father sat on a bench nearby laughing. David and I continuously stand in jealously and awe of the many languages that our international friends can speak. Stupid Americans we are...

David e Nicola preparano la tavola per la cena

First Course

Saturday night was one of the most magical evenings of my life. Nicola prepared a delicious Italian three course meal for us. Kate and I arrived a few hours before Sandra to help clean the kitchen, but mostly just to keep the guys company while they prepared the meal. While David sat the table for dinner and Nicola finished putting together the first course, the ladies and I chatted away over wine. We offered to help in the kitchen but were continuously told to sit back down and enjoy ourselves. Such gentlemen, David and Nicola. Between course after course of homemade pasta dishes, fresh mozzarella cheese, and a leek and potato torta, we drank wine and sang as David played Beetles songs on his guitar. The flowers I picked on my afternoon bike ride made the perfect centerpiece for our little dinner party.


Girls hang on the couch while the guys cook...I could get used to this arrangement.

The guys

I prepared chocolate chip cookies Saturday afternoon, which I brought for dessert. They seemed quite plain to me, in comparison to the fabulous and fancy meal we had just eaten, but Nicola was absolutely thrilled with the American cookies. Italian cookies are much different than the cookies we make at home and Nicola has insisted that he MUST watch me prepare Amerian cookies before I leave Italy. Since he liked these so much, I can't wait to see his reaction to homemade oatmeal cookies, one of my family specialties!! At the end of the evening I left the rest of the cookies for Nicola and David and they in return sent me home with the remainder of the Leek and Potato Torta. I'm quite certain I got the better end of that deal, but don't tell the guys.

After dinner we sat around finishing our third or fourth bottle of wine and laughing until Kate and I had to leave for the last bus back to La Spezia. Today I feel nothing but thankful for all of my wonderful friends, both here in Italy and also the ones back home and all over the rest of the world. There is little in life that can't be mended by time spent with friends. When I think back on all the best moments from my life, it is always the people I was with that make the memories so memorable. To all my friends and family: old, new, and also those who I haven't met yet, my life would be nothing without you!!

Singing I wanna hold your hand I believe

Now I'm off to another delicious and calorie filled meal at Marcello's mother's casa to celebrate Marcello's sister and husband being in town. I'm trying to prepare my body for the consumption of more food and wine and as I type this I can smell the chocolate cake that Grazie has prepared in the kitchen...where are my sweatpants with the expandable waist when I really need them?! 　
　

"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends whom we choose." 
- Tehyi Hsieh

What have I learned in a month?

Mercato

Today is a day like any other day, nothing too special or extraordinary about it, except for one thing; Today marks my one month anniversary of being in Italy! To celebrate the occasion, I took Cayo for a walk, we found a nice patch of grass to play fetch, and on the way home I bought myself some flowers. I have been eyeing the flowers at the mercato (outdoor market) for several weeks now and as anyone who knows me very well can tell you, I have a thing for flowers. I love to buy or pick them for others, and I also love to buy them or pick them for myself. Just one of those slightly insignificant things in life that I've found happens to make me very happy. So today I bought some yellow daisies for myself.

Since I've been here for a full month now I feel compelled to reflect upon what I have learned and ponder what direction I am going next. It has also been suggested to me by several of my blog's favorite readers that they would also like to hear about my struggles being here. 

The girls and I are beginning to learn each other's ways. I have learned that when Giulianna is rude to me it is mostly because she is just frustrated at not understanding English. I can tell the days that school has been challenging for her because she is tired and doesn't have the patience to try and understand me. I get it because there are many days I feel excactly the same way about Italian! On challenging days I have learned instead of fighting with her it is better if I just do my own thing and I wait for her to come to me. I have learned that Margherita speaks and understands far more English than her sister, and often more than her mother, but her spelling and grammar is terrible. I have also discovered she connects the most with me when I am telling her funny stories about the Bulgarian and Egyptian men who continue to keep actively pursuing me, despite all my best efforts to deter them. We laugh together over the ridiculous text messages that they send me sometimes and and we practice writing words and sentences. 

As the girls have grown more fond of me, they have gotten nicer and often encourage me when I attempt to speak in Italian. Margherita has kindly lied on several occasions and told me that I speak Italian very well, when I know very well that I don't and Giuly says things like, "It's ok, Alexa, Italian is very difficile for you and English for me." Yesterday I think I looked sad, I mostly just had a headach, and Giuly offered me a bite of her gelato. They are still ridiculously spoiled children but they are getting easier for me to teach English to and more pleasant to be around. Thank God, I really didn't know if I was going to make it those first few weeks. I think Cayo was what kept me here, honestly.  

Cayo and me at the park

I have also learned quite a bit about myself during the past month. For example, I have learned that there is NOTHING as valuable to me in this grand world as the ability to communicate. Apparently I had to travel halfway across the world to discover that I need to be able to communicate deeply with the people around me in the same way that I also need oxygen, food, and a strong cup of coffee in the morning...all of relatively equal importance. I need conversation with my close friends, with my family, and also with the man who works at the grocery store, the women sitting next to me on the bus, and with the doorman who always smiles and says, "Ciao" to me every morning and afternoon at our apartment complex. Even at my very best my simple, broken Italian cannot begin to delve beneath surface level conversation. In a city full of what I'm sure are kind, intelligent, and wonderful people I've found that I can't communicate with any of them except my small handful of newly found English speaking friends. For this reason I've never felt so alone in my entire life.

I've often wondered why other people don't just go and travel the globe, why more people don't embark on these wildly liberating and thrilling solo travel adventures. I think the reason is because at some level most people already know their limits. They already know they need communication and that the language barriers will be too difficult; In this way they are smarter than me. I had to come here and discover for myself. I've really taken to learning life lessons by experience lately, and as I keep discovering, this way of learning has both its advantages and also its disadvantages.

The Debellini's have asked me if I would like to return to their family after Christmas. I completely understand their desire, because their children take at least a month to warm up to someone new and it is much more beneficial for them to keep the same Au Pair for a longer time. They have offered to help me find a language class at the La Spezia University, it would be much more expensive but would also secure me a long-term student visa and would probably be far superior to the free course I am currently in. Part of me would like to persevere with my Italian studies but most of me knows that I'll never get as versed in the language as I'd like to be, even after six more months or a year here. It may not be impossible for me to learn a new language, but given that I take to new language much in the same way that cats take to swimming, I can absolutely guarantee it would be a slow, mostly miserable, and frustrating affair.

I love everything Italian and am still thankful everyday, despite the language barriers, that I came here for these three months and that I'm exploring the world on my own. I also think I'm going to be good and ready to come home after this and figure out what my next step in life is going to be. I have plans for graduate school calling my name and there are so many things for me to see and do in the United States! It has dawned on me that I don't have to be in Europe to learn new things and meet new people, I only have to be open to new experiences and just as gregarious about meeting english speaking strangers at home as I am here. I've debated pursing a workaway opportunity in Ireland, Scotland, or England for a month before I come home but as this would put me pretty far North in January, when the days will be short and it will be very cold, I'm not sure it would be the most pleasant of ideas.

I'm open to suggestions for January and February and my future pursuits if anyone has any for me. For now, I will just sit here with my yellow flowers, sipping on my coffee, enjoying the view of the beautiful harbor.


My Flowers in a Jar